Just like my life, my blog is an emotional roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs, feeling like you're on cloud 9 and then wanting to vomit with every change of pattern.
*breathe*
My last chapter was about how I have constantly been feeling overwhelmed. I realized I was a little too negative, but that's only because that's how I felt in the moment when writing it. There's a positive part of feeling overwhelmed too, when you're showered with so much love that your heart is so full and you cannot be thankful enough for the support system that you have built. This support system helps me believe that I am worth fighting for, and reminds me that I need to do things to focus on being the best version of myself.
So how do you become the best version of yourself? Is there even something such as 'best version' of yourself? Because I don't think that's possible. You're growing everyday, you're learning everyday, but you need to remember that you are learning and growing with yourself. If that makes sense?
You need to be comfortable with yourself, in order to watch yourself blossom and grow into the best version of yourself. So the next question is, how do you become comfortable with yourself? - In my opinion, the only way you can do that is by spending time with yourself. Truly spend time with yourself. Driving back home jamming to music does not count because lets be real, you're only blasting the music so that your thoughts don't take over your mind. It's when you are truly comfortable with yourself, your thoughts, your positives and negatives, when you can finally jam to music and truly enjoy yourself because it's sort of like you and your multiple personalities having a party.
Does it not feel that way? That you have multiple personalities? One for work, one for friends, one for family, one for the parents, one for the pet, one while watching Netflix and one when you're by your lonesome? I'm sure there are many more but that is how it feels like when you're not comfortable with yourself. You feel like you're being split into all these different people you have to be, which leads to being overwhelmed I suppose.
So my 2 dirhams (again, cz I don't have cents. My blog, you deal with my bad jokes if you've made it this far) - anyways, my input is that you can only be comfortable with yourself if you truly take care of yourself, aka, self-care. And that doesn't mean eating 3 proper meals a day, because that is meant to be the basic fundamental care that you should take. Self-care to me is going above and beyond the regular things you would do, but would still make you feel happy. It might take a day, week or who knows, even months to start seeing the outcome of practicing self-care. I'm not sure if it's meant to be instantaneous, but you start feeling comfortable with yourself. Self-care takes time, don't rush it. Just keep doing what makes you happy, and someday you will look back and realize how far you've come. I've said this before and I'll say it again, don't focus on the journey, focus on the destination. You don't end up dependent on someone else, for any kind of emotion. You become somewhat independent, in control and also to a certain extent, you feel selfish but only because you start putting yourself first? Selfish isn't the correct term, but it's the one I'm going for at the moment.
So according to a quick Google search, Forbes says - Self-Care is knowing your worth. Self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself as it produces positive feelings and boosts your confidence and self-esteem. Also, self-care is necessary to remind yourself and others that you and your needs are important too.
Read that again.
Remind YOURSELF AND OTHERS that you and your needs are important too. Forbes ain't gon' lie to you about that fam.
So what are the methods for self-care? Trust me when I say, I googled and went to all these different pages and blogs and sites, and as fun as everything looked, I instantly thought that 'this isn't for me'. And then I thought 'is self-care not for me?' and then I reminded myself 'know your worth Sara, self-care is for you, let's figure out what it is that will work for you'. Is it normal for me to talk to myself like this? All the time, don't judge. This is a judge-free zone.
Back to being all about me - what have I figured out works for me as part of my self-care routine are as follows:
Driving in the car, without any music - reflecting on thoughts in my head and asking myself to be true to myself, and tell myself how I really feel (give yourself a hug for the number of times I said myself).
Reading books - this has been a 2020 resolution of mine, so I'm hoping to go through many more books, but there's something really peaceful about turning off all sounds, keeping your phone away, and just reading and understanding what an author is trying to tell you.
Bedtime skincare routine - I have to be honest, I used to be the person who wouldn't even wash her makeup filled face before bed.. and now I am taking care of my skin, developed a proper skincare routine, and just take that as time to reflect on whatever is going through my head, something like 'final thoughts before bed'. I call it 'Get Unready with Sara'.
Go for a walk - not a run - a slow paced walk. Where you can meditate, and do some deep breathing exercises. It could be a 15 minute walk at most, but I've gone as long as an hour (guess I really needed it).
Cleaning - Monica Alert! I have been utilizing my Friday's by just cleaning the whole house. Having a clean or organized house helps your level of anxiety or even level of mental comfort at home.
Blogging - This right here, what you're reading, the platform you're reading it on. This is my little journal. My dear diary. A place where I pour my heart out, no filter, and feel 1% better than I did before posting.
Choose who you spend time with - I cannot emphasize enough on surrounding yourself with people that make you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. My idiots that never fail to make me smile, the insane group of girls that helps me hold on to my sanity.
Taking a break - we live in a fast paced world. We tend to get so involved and overworked, with work and family and friends and drama that we forget to take a moment to breathe. I've started taking a break from things, telling myself to slow down, take a deep breath, take it all in, and exhale.
Learn to say no - I've not mastered this, but I think I'm at a point where I won't let people walk all over me. It's not easy. It's still a work in progress, but we're all WIPs so I'll get there someday.
CANCELLED OUT COFFEE - Who even am I anymore? I didn't really cancel it out, I had 1 coffee in the past 4 weeks. I started to realize that life was taking a turn and that my anxiety levels would have gone through the roof, so I made an active effort to cut down on coffee because that would have made me even more anxious. So that's self-care. Sara cared for herself over the love that she has for coffee (send help, or a latte).
I hope something in here helps you. If not, I hope you're somewhat proud of me and how far I have come. If not, ouch, but also I hope you were entertained with my bs and find happiness. Remember to take care of yourselves, and practice self-care.
Love,
S x
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