We've only just begun the second month of the year and I'm already triggered beyond words. However, I'm going to try to articulate my feelings so I can feel a little lighter and not snap at every male species on this planet.
Women.
We're freaking incredible and deserve the world.
But you know what else we are?
Tired. We're so tired of being treated the way we are.
I am writing this on behalf of all my multiple personalities. I can't speak on behalf of other women because there has to be a tall manly woman out there who may find my words irrelevant cz she's like the hulk and men are scared of her. However, if other women disagree with me, I'm jealous that you live a carefree life, and also - more power to you. If you agree with me, let's bask in the safety of each others company and exchange positive words because we sure as hell know men won't do that.
Before I begin my rant - I feel obliged to put a disclaimer out of love for the respectful men in my life. All men are not bad. No one in particular hurt me. I am speaking based on interactions with complete strangers that I met once in my life. No, I did not intentionally meet them, they thought they were entitled to act in any way they want, regardless of noticing that a woman is uncomfortable with their actions. Again, I repeat, NOT ALL MEN ARE TRASH. But I do believe that many of you may be at fault.
You may help a woman, support her decisions, protect her when she's feeling uncomfortable - but how many times have you told off the person making her feel uncomfortable? If you have done that, SIR CAN WE BE FRIENDS? If you haven't, please keep reading to understand what we go through.
One of my other personalities are telling me that there may be 0 men reading this, in that case, women - please share this with a man that may enjoy the hobby of reading in this day and age.
Anyways, back to my point, most men are at fault. The good men, are actually great men. They're always there to protect and support women. But do they ever correct the bad men? I understand that at times they don't need to correct the bad guy, because the bad guy would just stop being a creep if a woman is accompanied by a man because he respects the man enough to not hit on the girl he's with..? Which makes no sense. Do you not value a woman as a human being? We're not an accessory. It is our world and you are the accessory. WE BIRTH YOU? SO HOW IS IT THAT THEY DON'T RESPECT A WOMAN WALKING ALONE? SIR, WHY?
The good men don't like to correct the bad men. The bad men don't ever want to be good. In both cases, the men tell the woman to change her behavior. WHY? CZ WE'RE BORN WITH DIFF BODY PARTS? Good men may say it out of love and concern, bad men will say it out of spite. I'm not just talking about what a woman is wearing, it may just be that she's being followed home. Why won't someone take action against the man following her? Why is the natural response 'take another route'? Why should a woman make her life 1% more inconvenient? SIR, WHY?
I just wish to wake up one day and be a man. Maybe a bad man, and speak to them the way they speak to us. Make them run across a parking lot so they don't end up close to a man, make them stressfully lock their car the millisecond they get in so no one tries to abduct them, make them feel scared as they're entering an elevator with a man, make them make them walk faster as they're walking on the street, make them adjust their phone so they can easily call for help, make them feel insecure with every outfit they choose knowing full well that no matter what you wear - you won't be safe around the wrong people, make them not want to go for a walk in a dark area. Make them scared for their life everyday. Unnecessarily scared. But also necessarily scared because unfortunately we know what men are capable of.
It's so painful to know that this an actual fear that women have? You scare women. What accomplishment do you feel by scaring a woman? Were you not loved as a child? What went wrong?
I don't hate men, but I just want them to know how we feel. I want them to understand the entitlement they hold. Your gender should not scare others.
On a lighter note, I would want them to be women so we can make them pay more for tyres and car batteries and stare at them while they come in by themselves for getting their car serviced. And not give them any pockets so they end up buying a bag to store things in.
Wait I change my mind, this needs a paragraph of its own. I'd give them fake pockets like they've given us and then make them buy bags. And then brainwash them that they need to be carrying shit like tissues, sanitizers, wipes, power banks, a freakin' sleeping bag - be mary poppins basically. And then make all those things extremely expensive so that we can ensure that they don't have enough money at the end of the month. Which isn't gna be tough to begin with, because OF COURSE WE'RE NOT GNA PAY THEM AS MUCH AS WE PAY MEN BECAUSE ThEY dOnT hAvE eXpEnSeS aS sUcH.
MEN!
You really infuriate me. Your privilege and entitlement.
If you're a man reading this, you don't owe me anything (obviously) - but if you've made it this far, you're probably continuing to read because you hate me and find this blog absolutely ridiculous, in which case, please keep your distance from me. I live in a sleeping bag in Antartica in case you want to creep me out. But if you were genuinely interested in what I have to say, then please can you protect women any chance you get? I'm not asking you to go out of your way to be our bodyguards, but make us feel like an equal. I'm not asking you to pamper the shit out of any woman you see. I am most definitely not asking you to flirt with every woman either. However, if you see a woman being a little uncomfortable, please try to help her out in the situation. Staring doesn't help, walking slowly behind us doesn't help, whispering something to your guy friends as we walk by doesn't help, catcalling doesn't help, reaching into your pocket while we're trying to cross you doesn't help, following us to our car in a creepy way doesn't help.
If you're a respectful man reading this (not that any man would think he's disrespectful due to the entitlement they hold - not me calling all of you out) - don't you feel sad that this is how most women think about men? Don't you want to make things better for your species? Tumhari koi feeling nahi hai? Do you want to be a tommy or a kutta? Please decide.
Sincerely,
An always worried woman because I live in a mans world.
Again - disclaimer disclaimer - I know not all men are trash, don't come at me cz your ego got hurt. Thanks
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Sara Haseeb,
xo
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